Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Mule's Gold

Greetings Muleteers!  The Mini here!  Well it was an exhausting weekend, by the time I had snatched the keyboard back from Dragon I was too sleepy to blog....My little ears were droopy and even my bray was on the wobbly side.  We had a parade of prospectors looking for a precious commodity here in the deepest depths of Dartmoor.  The word had got out that right here in My Kingdom lies a precious commodity that the silly humans call Mule's Gold!

When female human told me that the prospectors were on their way I was all a quiver.....

Long Ears used to help prospectors for gold

I have read human's book about mules that describes all about long ears being used by gold prospectors in the USA.  Now I would loooooovvvvve to meet my cousins in the States, human is always telling us that mules in that country are valued and seen commonly riding on the trail and in places like the Grand Canyon - sounds cool!  However, I would not like to spend my days panning for gold, my dainty hooves are not designed for hard labour, maybe Dragon would like prospecting, she's a banana short of a bunch when it comes to work?

It seems that the prospectors were after an entirely different kind of gold, human said they were after Mule's Gold.  I was very puzzled?  Where was this gold and why hadn't I uncovered it?  I make ample attempts at digging up the paddock when I'm finding a place to roll so how had I missed it?  Suddenly the first prospector arrived and I kept a safe distance at the top of the hill so I wouldn't have to get close, I'm not as free with my love as Dragon and Roller Polar, you have to actually earn my trust, I'm NOT bought by carrots and cuddles.  I watched and could not believe my eyes and ears, these fools were looking for gold in the muck heap!!

Searching for Mule's Gold....
But no wait they are starting to put it in bags and put it in their car, whatever is wrong with them?? Don't they know that they are packaging mule poo, yuckkkkk!  So I listened a bit longer and I learnt that mule poo is good for their gardens and that they call it Black Gold because it's a great fertiliser.  Oh My Mule, how gross, they put this stuff on their vegetables when it's rotted and say that it makes them grow big and healthy!  I know that us mules are superior but really?  Mule poo on your veg - no thank you!!!!
We all stay on guard but we're pretending to eat!

So the day went on and no less than seven loads of prospectors had been and gone and I was exhausted just watching.  Female human and Uncle Human spent all day lugging mule poo around and shock horror seemed happy about it.  By the end of the day the significant mountain (a mule's gotta do what a mule's gotta do....) had reduced to a mere mound and human was beside herself with delight, apparently more will be disappearing this week too.

The Mule's Gold Mountain is diminishing rapidly..... Humans are odd.

She came to report that I would be first in line for the lovely veg that would be produced using the mule poo fertiliser. I am brayless, how on earth could she think that I would touch that! Yuck!  However, if bananas just so happen to be grown with Mule's Gold (human says not!) then I might give it a go ;-)

Til next time Muleteers, remember all that glitters is not gold, it may be Mule's Gold!

Saturday, 25 February 2012

Dragon Has Learnt to Breathe Fire!

Greetings Muleteers!  Callie here again, I have been silent for a few as the boys keep muscling in on the keyboard, they may be small but their hooves sure do type fast.  It takes me ages to think about what to say to all you lovely folks but today I'm having no problems!  The Mini is hard and fast asleep after a busy day scoffing the grass that is starting to grow and Ro-Land... well Ro-Land is currently staring at the wall, hmmm I'm not sure what happens in that short eared head sometimes?  I asked him and he said he was philosophising, I'm not even sure what that means?  So I've sneaked the keyboard from under their noses and I'm going to tell you about some of the exciting happenings here at the moment...

Now for those of you that don't know The Mini likes to call me his love Dragon, I'm sure this is a term of endearment, apparently I remind him of Dragon from Shrek, check out this beautiful lady.... I especially like the pink eye shadow, I wonder if human will buy me some? I quite like the shades that No. 7 have in their neon lights collection at the moment, some matching toe paint would be great too!
Dragon is beautiful!
So imagine my delight when I got to play at being a real life dragon! Yippppppeeeee!

Man human starting to pile up loads of old rubbish which looked quite exciting, he looked pretty scary in an orange jumpsuit though, did no one tell him orange is so last year?  Pink is the colour this year!  So the pile got big and then he starting pouring stinky stuff all over and then lit a hissy thing, well Oh My Mule you will not believe what happened next!  A real life dragon den came to life in front of me.  

Orange is soooo last year!
I couldn't get close enough to this rare delight, I had to stand on the other side of the fence:-(  Now apparently us dragons like fire and smoke so I thought this was the time to really impress my number one sugar pumpkin The Mini so I pretended it was all my doing!  I stood as close as I could and pretended to breathe fire, at one stage it was a little bit warm on my eyebrows but I took it all in my dragon stride or should that be flap?  The Mini and Ro-Land were unimpressed with my ability to make fire and didn't break off from eating, they really are piggies those two minis.

I breathed fire!  The Mini just carries on eating what does a girl have to do to win his heart?
The humans looked at me in astonishment, I know how beautiful I am so why were they staring?  Then female human said that this is how to bombproof your mule.  Well really I AM A MULE, we are not scared of silly things like dragon fire!  

I am definitely a fan of breathing dragon fire, even if The Mini wasn't impressed my new human was very pleased with me!  I have worked out if I keep a cool head (re-name mule head) in these situations I get a carrot and a scratch on the base of my mulificent ears, this is a secret mule pleasure which I luuuuurvvvve.  Tomorrow I will be brave with something new, I've seen a loud tractor around, that will impress them.   I may only be four but my training of these humans is going well, I'll have them hoofed in to shape in no time ;-) 

Well muleteers it's time for me to go to bed, I've had a very busy day and my ears are drooping rapidly. Time for a quick snack and then a stretch out on my bouncy mattress!  Sweet mule dreams all until next time - Callie xx

Friday, 24 February 2012

Humans are confusing!

Greetings muleteers!  Ro-Land here today!  As befits my nickname The Philosopher I'm the member of the gang that keeps up to date with the news, I've been busy stealing a glance at the human's computer checking up on the latest news and happenings.  I'm sooooo pleased to see so many new fans who have found us through Facebook - it's lovely to meet you all, please stop by and keep up to date with us!

So I was browsing through a page all about long ears (if you can't beat them join them I say) when I saw something awful.


I was reading about some terrible festival where humans treated one of our cousins appallingly, what is wrong with some humans?  This poor long ear was ridden by a drunk man being jostled by hundreds of other people and fell down, not only could he not get up but the humans just made things worse by shooting guns (yes guns!!) and pouring wine on him..... I am neighless, whatever happened to these people?  Are they so cruel that they do not understand that we have feelings and get scared?  Do they not know that my cousin didn't want to carry that drunk with all of them laughing at him?

Today I am feeling sad.

They can't ever have looked in to our eyes and seen calm and love looking back at them, they have got something missing from their lives if they think this is fun.

Ask yourselves this.... would a long ear ever laugh at another creature because it fell over? No we'd be straight there to help!
Would a long ear ever get so drunk they couldn't stand up? What a waste of time!
Would a long ear ever fire a gun in a crowded square? Duhhhh stupid!
Would we ever treat others like this? No, because we have better manners.

I am now so confused, I have met so many lovely humans who look after me and love me and I never thought it was possible that they could do such things, although I am the philosopher of the group I don't want to think about this too much as it makes me very sad.  Female human whispered earlier that she has fun and frolics planned for the weekend, this will make me feel better and maybe it will reaffirm my faith in humankind?

Thursday, 23 February 2012

Herding Cats!

Greetings Muleteers!  The Mini here, I need to tell you about a feline problem that we're experiencing.

For those of you that don't know us mules have been equipped with fantastic dog defenders (aka hooves) - dainty and beautiful in my case :-), anyway I digress...  We have a natural dislike of strange cats and dogs that try to muscle in on owning our humans.  They are owned by us long ears and NO ONE else!  My distaste for the humans' dogs was already enough but at least they stay far away from us on the other side of the fence, female human warned man human that we don't mix, he thought it was funny until I made a beeline for his prized lurcher, hehehe.  So imagine my fury when they decided that we would be sharing our living quarters with a CAT, aaarghhh it makes me angry just talking about it.  So the day arrived when a small ball of fluff arrived from a lovely lady who looks after rescued animals (I wonder if she has any long ears??)

Cute I DO NOT think!
I listened carefully to what was said with my ear antennae and heard the humans talking about the ball of fluff being crazy, energetic, fearless and possibly semi feral - huh feral I'll show her!  So ball of fluff was coming stay with us.  Naturally I was most upset but then I heard that she would be living in a large cage in the tack room until she got used to where she was, "not long" said the nice lady "just long enough so that she knows it's home".  HOME???? It couldn't be, surely not?  I don't like cats!

So time went by and cute ball of fluff grew and started to protest loudly at being kept inside, female human thought she was ready to come outside. Hah!  Now was my chance to show this strange creature this is not her home too, only long ears allowed!  I had seen her from afar curled up in human's arms (wish I could do that, I do try to sit on my human's lap when she sits down but she protests loudly whilst scratching my tail, mixed messages or what???), she looked small enough for me to chase away.  The time came, the cage door was opened and female human stood watching carefully as the ball of fluff came out and strutted right in front of me!

I'm looking cute so she won't notice my true intentions.
Time to go in for a closer inspection of this creature!  Over I crept looking at my cutest so cat would not suspect that I was going to see her off......

This is a brave kitty, she seems to appreciate my handsomeness.
Would you believe it!  She had the cheek to come right up to my nose and bat me with her paw!  Human chuckled and told me this kitty might be as fearless as me - not possible, I am the bold, brave one of these lands (except for when mule doctor appears with the needle and then I quiver a bit :-(

Even my angry ears don't work
So this continued with kitty cat setting up home in MY kingdom.  She has now been here nearly 6 months and nothing I do seems to scare her away.  I have tried lots of techniques, a swift shove with the dog defenders (she is always too darn quick!), a charge with my ears back at top speed - no good she just runs under the fence, a swish of my angriest tail - nope she thinks it's a toy to play with and chases it, I've even tried deafening her with my loudest bray-neigh, even this doesn't work.

She is oblivious to my attempts at de-catting

I'm all out of ideas.

Nothing shifts this kitty cat called Diesel, she seems very happy here climbing on the humans and taunting me and then running away.... She even seems to have managed to ingratiate herself with Dragon who seems to like her and spends hours sniffing her and even licks her sometimes (must be a girl thing, yuck!)

Even my human seems to have decided that my attempts at de-catting us are in vain, she says that I deserve a friend who is as mischievous as me, she says I can play at a favourite game, it's called 'Herding Cats', apparently there's irony in there somewhere?  So fellow muleteers I've decided if I can't beat her she might as well join us as the final member of the crew.  My human says that her favourite cartoon as a kid was Dogtanian and the Three Muskahounds http://www.muskehounds.com/ so I've decided that Diesel can become Catanian and can join the Muleteers in some of our adventures.... now where is that pesky kitty cat?  I do secretly enjoy playing with her when the humans aren't looking......

I guess she'll have to join us.... We'll call her Catanian!

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Where mules are king but all work hard.

Greetings muleteers!  We have all been sheltering indoors keeping our ears dry.  While we were all inside our human was telling us about her trip to a far away place called Ethiopia.  In Ethiopia our human told us that mules are kings!  Well nearly!  Our cousins in far away lands are the most sought after of the equine race, they are valued over our short eared cousins and even our donkey pals.  In Ethiopia mules are a sign of wealth and success and are highly prized!  That made our ears prick up!  We are very aware that in this wet windy country called the UK mules are a looked at with disdain by many 'horsey folk', we are always annoyed when people mention the stubborn word or when they ask if we're an ugly horse, well really....

Where mules are king and everyone wants to be one!

So we listened carefully to what our human was telling us. Our donkey, horse and mule cousins are used as taxis, water carriers, riding animals and all round four wheel drive vehicles.  Our cousins live close to their humans and are a very important part of everyday life, they are allowed on the main highways, they stand outside the shops, they go to the well to fetch water for their humans and sometimes they even get to sleep inside with the family (The Mini thinks this is a great idea!).  We eagerly told our human this sounded brilliant, when could we start to offer a taxi service, Callie is very keen to start a school bus service as she likes small people :-)

A short eared taxi service taking owners to church on a Sunday

Hmmm apparently life is not quite so simple for our cousins in far away places.  Our human carried on telling us about what being a real working mule involves.  You see mules, donkeys and horses work for many hours a day on crowded roads, they are fed what their owners can afford and often have saddles and bridles that don't fit, Callie's ears drooped when she heard this.  No fine cow mule gear for our cousins,  just harness made from what is cheap and locally available, very often tyre rubber or seat belt material is used as this is all our cousin's humans can afford.  The human we own said not to judge these humans too badly, they try very hard to give our cousins the best that they can but they often don't have much money and they themselves wear tyre sandals on their feet and don't have enough food so everyone works hard and has to suffer whether they have long, short or human ears.

Ro-Land was especially upset after listening to what human had to say, she said with a sad look that the short ears are the ones that really struggle with the work they have to do.  Horses are prized and are big enough to be used as taxi pullers, unfortunately they don't cope well with the work and the weather, they are often painfully thin and have badly fitting harnesses which rub them and cause sores.   She even said that horses often get very sick and are abandoned by their humans who can't treat them and don't know what to do with them, apparently some nice people will collect them and take them to the Rainbow Bridge, this sounds nice, we hope they like it?

Our poorly cousin waiting for someone to help.

Us long eared mules and our donkey pals cope much better, human said that most of our cousins that she saw were in really good condition despite having only meagre rations and working hard.  We all conferred and thought this was obvious - WE ARE MULES! We are the original all terrain vehicle that lives on nothing and likes to work, of course we're fine, no wonder we are the most prized animals in all of the world (well Ethiopia at least!).

Our donkey cousins snack at the side of the road, why doesn't human let us do this?

Just as we were feeling really sad human stroked all of our ears and told us not to worry.  There are some people working really hard in Ethiopia to help long and short ears and the humans that they own.  These lovely people are called The Donkey Sanctuary and SPANA, they work to help adjust harnesses, treat wounds and offer advice to owners and children who will one day come to be owned by us long and short ears.  Human said that the vets and helpers are real long and short eared fans and they know the secret - the mule is king (or queen!).


Sunday, 19 February 2012

Sunny Days and Solo Rides

Hey there muleteers it's Callie again!  My boys are complaining that I keep hogging the limelight but what can a girl do?  I am the centre of the universe so I'm sure you all want to know about my escapades :-)

Today feels like the first day of Spring.  It was a chilly night last night and I was pleased that my human gave me a little extra handful of haylage (she's mean with the haylage and always dilutes it with straw - not fair).  This morning she was up super early and said the words I long to hear, we were going out for a walk!  So she got me all dressed up in my finest cowmule gear, I look super duper in my fine saddle and my bridle which shows of my best features (my ears of course!), I'm not keen on standing still while human fiddles with the straps but I have learnt that the quicker she gets on with it the quicker we go out.

So I yelled see you later to the boys, The Mini was being silly and making the most awful racket, Ro-Land had already disappeared to eat, he could at least pretend he cares!  Off we went, at first human was content to walk alongside with me but then she decided she wanted me to carry her,  I think secretly she was getting puffed!  Anyway on she hopped, it's much easier when I carry her anyway, we can go soooo much faster.  So on we went, I had a couple of scary moments when the sunshine played games with the shadows and Oh My Mule I could have sworn I saw a pixie!  I had to stand and look for ages to make sure the pixie had gone, in the end human decided she was feeling brave and clambered off to lead, this way she is the first to get eaten or have a spell put on her or whatever those Dartmoor Pixies do?!

On we went, it's all up hill which is pretty hard work for my little legs so we had a little snack and a slurp from a cool stream.  Then human decided that it was time to get back on board, she's pretty springy for a human and we were off in no time.  We had reached the rocky track, I reckon she couldn't keep her balance so let me sort it out, clever girl!
Mules are the original off road vehicle!

Us mules are so good at putting our feet in the right place, the only problem comes when you humans try to tell us where to go.  So we carried on to a gate which even I couldn't jump!  Anyway off the human got again and wrestled with the gate, I watched very closely as I think this could be a good skill to master, I could open all the gates that keep us penned in at the moment! We could all go for a little wander, hmm sounds like a plan, best not tell the human though think she'd worry!

Then we reached the open expanse that my human calls a 'keep', apparently many mule years ago the farmers around here using to drive their livestock in to this massive field which has loads of grass and huge stone walls.
The Keep, lots of lovely bouncy grass, we went to investigate these trees!

My human and I come here often to play some games and go for a wander with our friends, she doesn't ride me up here though as she seemed to think I'll be silly, how offensive! So off we pottered over to some granite boulders, this is good fun, human and I play climb the stones and see who can look biggest, yes muleteers I think you know the answer - it's me!  I climbed on to a particularly big rock today and could see for miles around, I looked beautiful, the Queen of the Castle!  Then something unexpected happened......  Human decided I was trustworthy enough to get back on, on she got and we were off!  We went and checked out all the corners of this massive place and pottered around for ages.  Human and I are still working out our language but we're getting there, I am very good at listening and of course I understand, I AM A MULE! She is learning mulemanship rapidly and after a while of sign language and gentle hints on my part it was great.  It was like my human and I were reading each others mind.  Is this what is called being in tune with your human? I love it!

Normally we just walk, today was extra special!

Sadly all good things must end and we had to go home, secretly I was a little bit tired anyway, off human got and we had a potter back slowly home.  We met lots of nice people on the way back with their not so welcome dogs!  Us mules do not think that sniffing bottoms is any polite way to introduce yourself so I had to let one of them know this.  A swift swipe with my dog defenders did the trick, that'll teach em!  I didn't actually get the silly mutt but it was a warning, us mules have the perfect aim, if we mean to get that dog we will!  Human chuckled, she had told the owner that dogs were not cool but they hadn't listened, I think she can read my mind!

At last we reached home, I got a lovely big juicy carrot as my reward for carrying the human, I better not tell her that I enjoyed it too, the carrots might stop otherwise!

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Love is in The Air

Hello muleteers, Callie here with a muley love message!  As it's valentines day I'm sending mule kisses to all of my many admirers!  I'm keeping all my hooves crossed that I will receive loads of pink valentines cards from my boyfriends!!  Secretly I'm hoping for a very special one from my number one handsomeness The Mini.  My gorgeous boyf is a little on the short side but what he lacks in height he makes up in girth, volume and kisses.

Muley kissing!  The Mini plants a peck on my neck....

When my training human sent me out in to the great wide world on my own I didn't realise that I was being matchmade.  My blind date was a curious little mule with a BIG attitude!  Us ladies like to know that we are protected and doted upon by our menfolk and The Mini certainly looks after me.  He has recently been showing me how to trim the hedgerows in our paddock, never before had I realised how tasty wood is!  He has also been showing me how to rid our field of intruding cats, dogs and birds, no longer will I have the indignity of sharing my living quarters with jackdaws!  He stands guard when I need a little snooze and defends my honour when Ro-Land thinks it's time for a smooch.  On female human's return though he was a little bit rude!  He would not let me near her, he says he owns her and she is not for anyone else to play with... at least not until he's had a good bum scratch and ear rub, well really what does she have to offer that I don't, a girl could get quite offended, her ears are nowhere near as superior as mine!

So what is the secret to a happy muley relationship.... well here are my pink ponderings...

Shared Interests - Food glorious food, all types of food, we both love grass but especially love the hedgerow and trees - Ro-Land thinks we're nuts, only grass interests him!

Physical Compatibility - The ears are compatible need I say more???

Mental Compatibility - Perfect, I've never met anyone quite like The Mini, his brain is huge and he's nearly as smart as me... not quite though, he is a boy afterall!

Favourite Pastime - Making mischief!! Walks with the humans, The Mini is lucky he doesn't haven't to carry them!

We've been stepping out for two months - must be serious!
So Happy Valentines to you all!  The Mini and I are off for a moonlit supper for two, a starter of Mollichaff Donkey followed by a Main of Haylage and Straw with a Pudding of Apples and Pears, yum!

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Full of Hot Air!

Greetings fellow muleteers!  Well female human has abandoned us to travel to somewhere called Ethiopia where she says mules know what hard work really is! Well really, what can be harder than my life? Keeping my big bird Dragon happy (she can't get enough of my handsomeness!!) is very hard work as is herding Ro-Land, have you ever heard of herding cats? (I am expert at this, I'll let you in to my secret in a future post).  Well try herding Ro-Lands, it's VERY frustrating!  He keeps saying he's in training for the Grand National, well really he is on another planet!!  So we have been left home alone by female human with man human who is 'in charge' as she said before leaving.  She said it with a grin and seemed to think this was amusing, she must know I'm in charge because I am the chosen one!!

Female human has abandoned us for somewhere hot and warm, wish I was there too!

Before she left she posed me a very perplexing question... When she picks my back feet up she wants to know why I always have to let go with a slight puff of hot air?  I guess this is what is also known as a botty burp, or maybe known as bottus troubilis?  Anyway she can't see the funny side of my windy expression of love!  You see I have a sense of humour and know that in the past I used to drive my human up the wall when she tried to de-mud my hooves.  I would prance everywhere and express my disgust at such an invasion of muley privacy by pulling my feet away, standing on my back legs or when I was feeling very angry I would let one of my back feet swing close enough to her head that she knew my feelings (please note I was never nasty and never once did I hurt her or connect, I was just letting my thoughts be known!).  These days I am the best of the bunch with my feet and am happy to show her my beautiful tiny hooves when I am loose and have my head in the bucket, in fact I'm so relaxed about it all that things just relax if you know what I mean?  Those of you that have the pleasure of knowing us mules will know that we lose control of our botty department either when we are totally scared... or we might gently breeze when we are relaxed and contented.  So when human picks my feet up it is my way of telling her that life is good, there is no need to worry and I'm sharing my hot air with her (she shares plenty with me, blah blah blah).  Besides it gets a good reaction, she normally laughs and splutters which I take to mean that she loves my eau de mule :-)

So next time your long or short eared buddy lets a botty burp pass when you are holding up his back foot take it as a sign of love, all is well in the world and we are relaxed!  I will let female human in on this secret when she returns next week, until then I will test it out on man human, he'll love it I know, us boys like to express ourselves in this way :-)

Dragon doesn't look impressed with my eau de mule either??

Bye for now muleteers, I'm off to dream up some trouble whilst I'm in charge of the gang, man human looks like he needs a bit of excitement in his life, he needs to know that mules are a great reason to get up in the morning (crack of dawn please or I'll bray very loud, I also desire lots of haylage (female human lets us honest, the straw is really for bedding not for feeding!), lots of carrots, apples, pears and polo mints and lots of sunshine, if you can fix that I'll be a good mini mule ;-) Til next time....

Monday, 6 February 2012

Shetland Pony Speed Machine!

Hello blogfans!  Well here I am on this wet, miserable day wishing for the snow that the rest of the country has so that I can show off my polar bear fluff but alas there is only mud.  So I decided that today would be a good day to steal a look at my human's current affairs magazine known as Horse and Hound, now why can't it be called Pony and Puppy, it has a much better ring to it!!  I was having a browse through dreaming of owning a luxury pony mobile to take me to the Pony of the Year Show or a lovely sand school so that I could roll to my heart's content when an article caught my eye...

There it was, confirmation of what I had known all along.... I'm a confirmed speed machine!  All those huffy, slightly psychotic thoroughbreds owe the best of what they are to me :-) Well sort of.  The article said that Thoroughbreds owe their speed genes (do ponies wear genes? I know my human does but my wardrobe is lacking... must investigate) to us Shetlands! 


Blink and you'll miss me...

I've known for a long time that I am a race winner in the making.  If only I could concentrate on my training a little more I would definitely be in with a chance of being the next Grand National winner!  I even have the genes to prove it.  It is hard to train though when your life revolves around being chased by long ears... they shout Run Ro-Land Run at Me, now then back to a little snack before starting my training regime.....

Some of us are in training, others are just stuffing their faces!

Sunday, 5 February 2012

Mullivers Travels!

Well there I was the gorgeousness that is Callie and I was wondering what a mini was?  A fire breathing mule killer I think?  The stable door bulged a little more and my humans said it was 'time to release' the beasts, oh my mule, what will it be?  I'm ready and waiting with my dog defenders and my ears all pricked to make sure I look as big as possible and then...... they appeared!!

Imagine my mulish surprise when out of nowhere came not one but two creatures straight from the cast of Mullivers Travels!  It was like entering a Hobbit Village!  More to my surprise was that one of these strange little creatures had mulificent ears just like mine!!  The humans chuckled and said "I think they know they're mules"!  Well of course I know I'm a mule but I've never met another one.... all the other four legged friends I've met have had short ears, now this is a turn up for the books!

Once introduced to The Mini (who says he's the boss, we'll see!) and Ro-Land I settled down for a good snooze to dream about all the fun I might have with my new gang, I think we should call ourselves THE THREE MULETEERS :-)

The Three Muleteers are pleased to introduce..... Callie!

Welcome readers!  I'm the latest addition to the Three Muleteers!  My name is Callie and I'm a 4 year old molly mule, I'm 14 hands high and my human says this means I have to carry the load for the other two...hmmmm I think this means I have to carry her, whatever!  She also says that I am a bit of a juvenile delinquent, not sure what that means but probably that I'm the youngest, prettiest and most agile of the three :-)  

I joined the Three Muleteer gang recently when I had to say goodbye to the lovely human who had done something called training with me.  I think I did training with her but that is a mulish secret that I don't share with the two legged ones, if only they knew that we were the ones training them!  Anyway my training human said that I would have to find a new home, she searched far and wide and eventually my new human popped up and came to see me.  That's where our story begins!

So I picked a day when I was feeling at my most supreme for my viewing, my training human whispered in my long (beautiful) ears that I had to be good.  Well I was very good (even if I do say so myself) but did have to check this pair of two legs that had come to see me out.  So I showed them my best features... I fidgeted around while my training human picked my feet up, it's hard to stand on three legs when you're a mule you know and I had to make sure that the new humans were up to the job of holding me up if I couldn't manage.  I also expressed my excitement at having my clothes put on, I know that this means something exciting is about to happen so I do wriggle a lot and then it was down to what humans call WORK!! I love to work (whatever that is, sounds fun right?) so carried my new human to be up the road and back in a jolly striding fashion without a flicker of an eye at the passing traffic or monsters in the hedge, work is not something to take lightly you know, you should only waste energy on spooking when it means you get to work for longer, I had a feeling this new human on my back had the measure of me though and that wasn't going to happen :-(  So after my favourite thing we went back home and human to be was talking to training human about where she lived, she said that she was owned by something called a mini mule, well really, a mule in mini how ridiculous! I could give that the run around...

Well the sad day arrived that I had to step out in to the big wide world without my training human,  I threw a massive farewell party for my short eared companions by jumping the fencing around my paddock and squealing with delight :-) They were all thoroughly impressed I could tell!! Training human and human to be both looked a little shocked but then started to laugh, I know how to diffuse a stressful situation :-)  Standing outside my stable was the shiny mule mobile that had come to take me to my new mule palace (hope the wall paper's pink!).  My training human whispered in my ear that I didn't need to worry, everything would be fine as I was going to live somewhere where I would be understood and loved for my mulish ways, well of course I was, everybody loves me!!  After a sad goodbye with my training human my ears were very deflated and I felt sad but it was time to go.  

After what seemed like an age we arrived at my new mule palace...hmmm not sure about palace but it'll do, will have to get the pink paint out!  So off I go in to my new abode but it's dark outside and I can't really see what is going on, I know there's someone there but I can't see them!!  My new humans are smiling at me and are talking about letting 'the minis' out to meet me...what minis? I can't see them?  There is another stable door next to mine and it seems to be bulging with the effort of containing a monster that is trying to barge through, oh my mule what if it's a mule eating dog, I shall have to get my dog defenders ready to aim!  So the door opens and there was a shock! I had ended up in an alternative universe... it was like being in the tale of Gullivers Travels!

Saturday, 4 February 2012

The Three Muleteers are pleased to introduce..... Ro-Land!

Hello friends I am Ro-Land also known as Roller Polar due to my uncanny resemblance to a polar bear in the winter, actually for about 10 months out of the year as I like to be prepared for cold weather at any moment.  I am a miniature shetland of just under 8 hands high and although I have the shortest possible pony ears I am an honorary long ear according to my mule friends. Please note that I am not a mere Roland I am double barrelled and should be pronounced as such, there is a pause for effect between Ro and Land as befits my chilled out self. Ermmmm where to begin....

The award for the shortest ears goes to.....

Well I joined the gang about two years ago when my humans were looking for a fearless pal for The Mini, he had already seen off two short eared pals who simply weren't up to the job of being mule pals and was feeling a little lonely.  You see the silly humans had thought that big was best! Hmmmm not true....  So after being definitively told that this was not the case they decided The Mini needed a companion even smaller than himself (in height not girth I hasten to add!).  That's where my handsome self came in.  So there I was grazing peacefully with my brothers and sisters when a pair of humans came to view me, well I was most concerned as I was wet and not looking at my polar bear best.  Try as I might the man human was more interested in someone else, you see I'm quite quiet and don't like to be the bighead of the gang unlike some we might mention.... Anyway after a poor start the lady human looked under the mud and wet and said I had something called good conformation and that my feet were good, I must have had my best toe paint on that day!  She asked the lady showing me off why I was for sale and then the embarrassing part happened....

Hmmmm well she let my secret out that I had been selected to be a 'Stud' whatever that means? Apparently I was supposed get close to lots of ladies but it hadn't worked out so I'd had to have a little operation and was now looking for a new home.  Well how embarrassing, I mean it wasn't my fault that I had better things to do than show off to lots of ladies and prance around snorting and as for the other thing well no thank you, all four feet are staying firmly rooted to the ground.  There was lots of chuckling and my new human to be said that I'd make a good pal for 'The Mini' whatever that was.... hmmm if only I knew.

So the day came to move to my new home and a very shiny lorry arrived to pick me up, little did I know what awaited me.  Well I arrived and saw someone I recognised, you see The Mini used to terrorise me when I was younger....we had been born in the same place.  The Mini whispered at me that if I was good this was a nice place to be and we could make lots of trouble together!  Well I am NOT a trouble maker, not like some!  

I have been with the gang for what seems like forever now and there is never any mention of being a 'Stud' - phew!  I love to spend time in the sun as long as it's not too hot, my beautiful fluff is a sight to behold when the snow falls and the wind ruffles my coat, I don't look quite so magnificent when I'm wet or hot!  My humans say I am the simple one of the crowd, I think they mean my straightforward nature but I'm not really sure what they mean, hmmm?  My human says that I am the nicest shetland she has ever met and says that I really do deserve the name shetland not sh*tland as she normally calls them.  She says I'm her member of the gang to cuddle when the others are being muley and her guilty pleasure is to lift my mane and sniff me.  Apparently the others don't have my eau de pony and smell muley, my human says it is her favourite smell and reminds her of being a pony mad kid (isn't she still one?)

My splendour is plain for all to see

My favourite things in life are to eat and sleep, you see I'm not ambitious like the other two muleteers, I like a quiet life pottering in the paddock making sure everyone's happy.  I'm the security blanket you see, some would say the babysitter, if one of the long ears goes out to play with the humans I'm always hear to pick up the pieces with the other one.  They make the most horrendous racket calling for each other and I have to listen to it! Dum de dum if only they had my chilled out ways they would realise that the humans have got life under control and there is no need to fret, everyone will be back together soon.  I hope you enjoy talking to me and my muley friends, my humans call me a philosopher whatever that is, errrmmm I'll have to go and think about it......til next time.....  

Doing what I do best, looking good and eating lots!

The Three Muleteers are pleased to introduce..... The Mini!

Welcome to our blogspot fellow long eared lovers!  I am The Mini (please note the 'The' this is very important as I am the one and only or so my human says!).  I am a rare miniature mule; my Mum was a mini shetland and my Dad was a miniature jack donkey, which of course has made me the most beautiful creation the world has ever seen (or so my human says!), it also makes me full of personality which some may call opinionated (please note there will be no mention of the stubborn word).  I am fully grown at a whopping 8 hands in height which means I escape being ridden... however I do enjoy pottering along the lanes munching on the hedgerows.  I am the original member of the crew having been with my humans for a few years now.  The other members of the muleteer gang are the new kids on the block and I'm still teaching them the ropes, honestly a mule has to do everything around here!

So I adopted my humans a few years ago, apparently I had become a little tiresome at the children's petting farm I was living at and had been getting up to no good... well I'm sorry but chasing foals and humans is fun.  I was also a little bit naughty with my feet, now if someone tried to trim your toenails without introducing themselves first you might find this a little rude too.  You see us mules have been given hard, accurately placed hooves for a reason!  That's right to express our thoughts on life!

So anyway apparently I was not wanted around anymore so I was advertised (oh the indignity!) as 'Open to Offers' to an experienced home only, well did they not know how rare I am???  Apparently lots of people were interested in me but none of them quite met my high standards of human behaviour until my forever human came along and seemed amused but not frightened by my mulish ways, I did try to make her see I was a fire breathing dragon but she just laughed and said I'd be perfect.  Apparently she works with my kind for a living (lucky human) and thought I was 'not that bad' so I was invited to join their gang.

When I first arrived home I was very nervous and wasn't sure what to make of my new companion who was a big short ear who I have since seen off as leader of the gang to stake my rightful claim as King of All I Survey.  Admittedly I did continue my challenging ways for quite some time to test the humans nearly to destruction.  I liked to give my humans the run around, I didn't pick my feet up without much bribery and brushing was not on my agenda and having my toe nails trimmed - forget it!  After a few years I have seen off 3 farriers, 2 vets and  2 short eared companions.  I am now the King of All I Survey with a personal pedicurist and mule doctor hoof picked from my applicants over the years and a pair of humans that give in to my every whim.

I am also lucky that I have my forever friends now too, after much deliberation on my part I have not just one but two best friends Dragon and Ro-Land.  Dragon (my humans call her Callie) is my girlfriend who you will meet shortly, a fellow long ear who is a little taller than me and can be a little irritating when she won't leave my handsomeness alone.... I call her Dragon because I was allowed to watch Shrek once and she is just like Dragon from the film - potty in love with me but can breathe fire when she wants to!

Ro-Land is my mini partner in crime.  He's not up to long eared IQ standards but does like to share my toy box and play tag in the paddock, sometimes I'm not sure what he is thinking about but he's a good pal nonetheless.

Dragon follows my every move in the paddock, it's easy to see why, I am soooo handsome!

I'm off for a well earned snooze, more from me soon :-)

Welcome Long Ear Lovers!

Welcome to our blog!  We are the three muleteers and hope you will join us on our long eared journey through life.  We are the best of buddies and want to invite you to share our mulish ponderings on life!

The day is cold and there's been snow falling so we're keeping our hooves and tails warm and gathering round the hay net to put our (vast) brains together for our first blogs....  Hmmm now where to start? Maybe we should introduce ourselves!